Category: General

A friend looking for justice – and safety – in Frederick County Maryland

The text below is from a friend of mine in Frederick County, Maryland.  She was done wrong, way wrong, by the justice system there:

On Monday, May 13, Frederick County District Court judge Dino Flores, and attorney Marjorie DiLima collaborated to release guns back to my violently mentally ill husband. Together, they silenced, objected, and dismissed the facts of the story of how my husband went from a happy, peaceful man on July 26, 2023, to a man who now sleeps with an ax by his bed, expecting the house to be raided every night by people who want to kill him.

Mental illness is a complex problem, with many faces. I have learned much about it over the past few months, reading and consulting with psychiatrists, therapists, mental health support groups, and even nationally known expert, Dr. Javier Amador. While my experience is among the most extreme, I expected that I would be heard fairly and completely. That did not happen. Even when provided with a recorded admission by my husband of shooting at people in our neighborhood, the judge chose to re-arm a dangerous, delusional man. In his statement from the bench, he acknowledged that he may be releasing a potential killer, and that his name could be “splashed all over the headlines” as the judge who allowed it to happen.

A week earlier, at my request, Frederick Health Hospital evaluated the mental health of my husband. They were informed that shootings had occurred, and were provided with a detailed log of the irrational behaviors that I have observed since July. For reasons they cannot share with me due to HIPAA laws, they interviewed and released him untreated, within a few short hours.

This has been heart-breaking and personally devastating for me. I have had to leave my home, my farm, my pets, and the man I cherished for 12 years. After months of direct conversation proved unable to get him the help he needs, I resorted to legal means. This was my last resort, and it too has failed my husband, myself, and the safety of the community.

People of Frederick County, be aware and be safe. Keep your eyes open to danger. Mental illness is on the rise, and we live in a system that scarcely knows how to identify and treat its most destructive forms.

John Lennon

Today ( December 8th ) in 1980 John Lennon was shot to death by a mentally disturbed man.

All my life I’ve heard people talk about where they were when JFK was shot. I could never relate to that, not having been born at the time.

I do remember where I was when John Lennon was shot. I was a sophomore in high school. I remember talking about it in an English class with Mr. Truit and the “cool older kids”. At the time John Lennon had just released his “Double Fantasy” solo album which made me aware of his existence separate from The Beatles.

I remember a discussion about “Imagine” on an old sitcom called “WKRP In Cincinnati” . One of the DJ’s explained how the lyrics meant hope for the future. Lennon, having been influenced by Eastern meditation thought that visualizing such a future might help bring it about and he wrote that song. A station executive in the story read the lyrics and dismissed “Imagine” as communism.

That is always how I liked to think of “Imagine”, as a vision for a future we are all hungry for and how imaging it may bring it about, or a few minutes of joy at that vision.

Epicurus On Death

Epicurus quote: "Why should I fear death! If I am, death is not. If death is, I am not. Why should I fear that which can not exist when I do?"

The quote above is not the most scholarly translation of that thought by Epicurus.

I’m not proud, I like the way it rolls off of your tongue and the meaning is fully intact.

It is a powerful quote.

I think it provides an insane amount of comfort.

I don’t think it provides complete comfort.

Marcus Aurelius suggested a rhetorical question ( for a context other than this post ), paraphrasing, “Am I afraid of death because I will not be able to do _____ anymore?”

I think that is the first reason people feel angst about death. They think about missed opportunities from the past and things they will not be able to do in the future.

I think another reason people feel angst about death is the handy dandy quote above. They haven’t worked that thought down into their bones. They will never experience being dead. If there is an afterlife, then all that worry is for nothing, so you are “good” on both counts.

I think there is also an animal, instinctual fear of death we inherit. I don’t think we can do much about that. If we can reduce that emotional reflex in regards to our own pending demise or the demise of someone close to us we are ahead of the game.

Possibly, there is a cognitive, cultural component on top of that animal instinct. Just beneath your level of your self awareness you think you should freak out when someone dies. Why? It will not do anything for the deceased. While they were alive, if they thought about such things, they decided they didn’t want their survivors to suffer over their death. They likely thought it would just be nice to be remembered once in a while. If there is an afterlife, and they weren’t republicans, they are probably having a grand old time. Feeling angst about your demise doesn’t help anyone either. You are still going to die. You are better off without the angst, enjoying the time you have. So again, why freak out? It isn’t doing anyone any good. In history, people used to move to different parts of the globe for life. No smart phones, no social media, no email, and not even a post office to deliver letters. That is what it boils down to when a person close to you dies (almost). They moved far away, such that you will never be able to communicate with them again. Memorials are a going away party that happened after the fact because something happened to their travel arrangements such that they had to leave on short notice.

Nobody wants to grow old.  Seeing people close to you die or grow old reminds you of that.  Growing old sucks, even the historical Buddha said that.  Your physical and mental capacities diminish.   On top of that there is a cognitive and cultural component on top of that.  Many horrible things about old age and old people.

You can’t do much about that animal instinct. You may be able to do something about your culture conditioning, though not completely.  You can work at aging gracefully, not just physically, but with your beliefs. There is a bit of luck in how well that will turn out, things beyond your control.  At least you can tell yourself you tried.  In regards to your FOMO ( Fear Of Missing/having Missed Out ), you are still alive, so you still have a chance at doing some things of value to yourself.