Category: General

To the woman at Kinkos, who stood on the outside of the doorway saying “excuse me” to herself in a dejected voice. It was rush hour, people were pissed, several people were moving through the lobby at once when the doors closed on them and quickly got pushed open before people walked through your personal space. It happened so quickly I don’t think any of us had time to think about you being offended. It wasn’t personal. Sorry.

This past weekend I went to a memorial for my friend Bethany, who I knew from a community I am part of. While we weren’t close, we did know each other and we knew each other for 7 years. Since she died memories of conversations I had with her have been spontaneously coming into my mind. Sometimes my reactions don’t know how to react and I feel caught in limbo. Other times I feel a sense of loss, I feel a deep sadness or I feel angry.

I was hoping the memorial this past weekend would change that. It hasn’t. I guess the rest is up to time.

I was grateful that I got a ride there from my friends Noel and Joe.  Bethany had a lot of friends and relatives I did not know. I would have felt awkward. It was nice to go there with other people I knew. I am thankful that I did not have to deal with city driving or the vagaries of the Saturday evening metro while feeling emo.

I’d like to be able to tell my friend that I am remembering her.