This past weekend I went to a memorial for my friend Bethany, who I knew from a community I am part of. While we weren’t close, we did know each other and we knew each other for 7 years. Since she died memories of conversations I had with her have been spontaneously coming into my mind. Sometimes my reactions don’t know how to react and I feel caught in limbo. Other times I feel a sense of loss, I feel a deep sadness or I feel angry.
I was hoping the memorial this past weekend would change that. It hasn’t. I guess the rest is up to time.
I was grateful that I got a ride there from my friends Noel and Joe. Bethany had a lot of friends and relatives I did not know. I would have felt awkward. It was nice to go there with other people I knew. I am thankful that I did not have to deal with city driving or the vagaries of the Saturday evening metro while feeling emo.
I’d like to be able to tell my friend that I am remembering her.
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